writing

Confessions of a Creative Soul #2

09.18.14e

(The above photo belongs to me.)

As many of you know, I moved to Oregon back in July with no job and really, no plan. I was so overtaken by the task of getting settled that I basically settled for any job I could find. Call me crazy, call me stupid, but after working as a Customer Service/Sales Associate for 6 months, I quit my job. It had nothing to do with the workplace, it had to do with me. Ah yes, the classic, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

My basic personality profile is this: task-oriented, 60% introvert / 40% extrovert, highly sensitive, and creative.

What does this mean? I enjoy doing tasks. I thrive on tasks. They make me feel productive. Small talk with strangers whom I may never see again does not make me feel productive. This could be due to my dominant introversion. I enjoy time to myself. I need time to myself because it gives me time to recharge. Don’t get me wrong. I DO need social interaction. However, the kind of social interaction that I need is meaningful social interaction. Investing in relationships that are important to me, helping someone out that I just met with a problem, meeting new friends with the intent of meeting again with a mutual interest in getting to know one another better are ideal and less draining. Perhaps I prefer this type of social interaction because I am a highly sensitive person. I’m hyper-aware and sensitive to people’s emotions and the environment around me. Whenever someone walks in to a room, I take in their emotions. I’ve learned to control this, but I’m often affected by their emotions. If they are rushed, I feel rushed. If they look sad, I feel a level of sadness too.

Lastly, I have a strong creative drive. This has been a huge part of my life since I learned to hold a crayon in my little grubby hands. My parents must have loved this because I would sit at my alphabet table, tongue out, eyes glued to the page with concentration as I scribbled my masterpiece. When I got a little older, I started writing books. I would staple a few pages together, write a story and draw pictures to go with them. At age 7 I got my first camcorder and I spent hours making videos. My favorite would be my “How To” drawing videos where I taught my audience how to draw stick figure houses and scenery. My parents bought me disposable cameras when I was 8, 9, and 10. I would take them on our camping trips and photograph the squirrels, my brother playing in the dirt, and my family on their hikes. I also used to stage photo shoots with my dolls and stuffed animals in my bedroom.

With all that said, I have decided to pursue photography as my career. No looking back! I know it’s going to take awhile to build my photography business, clients, and my portfolio. In the meantime, I am going to be looking for jobs that will allow me to use my gifts, talents, and personality profile to its fullest. I will also be setting aside time to make sure I am creating regularly whether that be doing photo shoots, writing blogs, or making YouTube videos. Here’s to becoming the best me I can be!

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I don’t know what I’m doing

DSC_0259When I first started this blog, I got annoyed at all the posts that started with “I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a long time!” and “It’s been awhile! I am SO sorry!” But now, I’m tempted to say the same thing, except, I’m not sure I’m really that sorry. I may be unemployed, I may have a lot of time on my hands, but for whatever reason, I have not written a post on here for a long time.

I’m writing this for me, mostly, right now.

I think I haven’t written much because I’m not sure I have much sense of direction right now. There’s nothing wrong with that, really. Although, I feel like the people who do write posts daily have a niche. They do a good job of seemingly having it all together at least in their writing. I just feel like I have so many options, but I also feel like I don’t. I’m just in the middle of an awkward, uncertain, very open time and transition in my life and blogging has seemed to take a step back in my priorities.

I guess what I mean to say through all of this is, I’m not really sure where to be focusing my time and energy right now in my life. So much has been happening, so much has changed. I guess it’s crazy to think that I would be able to run a blog consistently or (fill in the blank here of my other ambitions) right after I have moved to a completely new place with no job. I just have to figure out my focus.

Focus

FOCUS

focus.

So, yeah, I am kind of sorry for not posting for a while, but I hope at least now you (and I) understand why I haven’t been showing my face around here much lately.