Not So Lonely

photo (19)Life is busy. No matter who you are, things pile up, priorities constantly shift, and sometimes it seems as though there aren’t enough hours in the day for all the things you wanted to do or for all the people you wanted to see. I’m guilty of forgetting birthdays, mixing up dates of important events, and being too busy to hang out with loved ones, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them, right?

Soon you will find out that my husband and I are moving away from the town we grew up in. (That’s for another post) This move is causing me to become hyper-aware of the people around us. I am noticing small things I did not notice before. I notice the polite waves and friendly smiles, I remember who took the time out of their day to talk to my husband and I at events, I see the genuine expression of excitement and sadness on people’s faces when they talk about our move. Unfortunately, I also take notice of those who don’t.

I get discouraged when a friend walks right past me.

I feel left out when I don’t get invited to things.

I notice when certain people choose not to come to something that I planned.

Here is where I stop complaining. I wish it weren’t so but I realize the people in the scenarios listed above are not my true friends. I have found that it  is SO easy to group together those who plainly will not make an effort to see you with the people who wished they had more time to see you, but can’t because life gets in the way. This is what was tripping me up for so long. I know now that there is a distinct difference between not having time and not making time. I have come to realize that those who care about me may not be able to make time for me as often as I’d like. I too am guilty of this. That does not mean that the moment I need them, they won’t be there.

I am thankful for the family and friends that I have who love me unconditionally and have supported me through many of my life’s journeys, no matter how insane. I can’t express my love for each and every one of them enough.

I am thankful for my sister who will drive 2 hours with her husband and 4 kids just to say goodbye to me at my going away party at the beach. I am thankful for my parents will load their car up with chairs and portable barbecues, canopies and a whole bunch of food so that I have the most wonderful going away party. I’m thankful for my friends who will stay until the very end to help tear everything down, carry it through long stretches of sand, and load it all back up in to the car.

It seems, I’m not so lonely after all.

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